Let’s talk about loneliness a little bit here.
We could call it the elephant in the room, or more so, the elephant in an incredibly empty, isolated, cold, dark room. (You can swap elephant with a tiny little mouse...you get the picture.)
I’m sure we've all felt lonely at one time or another, am I right?
I know I do. More than I would like to admit.
After sending out a little love note to my "Naturalita Love Notes" tribe and sharing some personal feelings online, I can more deeply recognize the power of vulnerability. Not only in sharing it with others, but more so to connect with others so ALL of us don't feel as alone. Either in how we are feeling or the physicality of being alone.
I shared the post below on my personal facebook page. Honestly, I typed it twice, deleted it, then put it in a Google Doc as a personal journal note, then put it back onto Facebook and hit “post” and jumped off the computer.
I was pretty sure people would think I was crazy, but I know deep in my heart I needed to share it. Because, you know, TRUTH filled feelings. That’s exactly how I was feeling in the moment and my feelings poured out through my keyboard right into the space where facebook asks “What’s on your mind?” (Well, okay, I guess I'll share, thanks fb...)
Here is what I wrote, if you're wondering:
Yep, I cry.
Yes, I feel alone.
Yes, I am pretty good at shielding emotions outside of my home (um, Lita and the man get to see the emotions flow a lot).
I don't ever try to hide or shield them at home.
Oh yeah, sometimes I curl up in a ball or in an awkward down dog position on my yoga mat and cry. Release it all.
Sometimes the emotions flowing through me are not my own, they can be from what's going on in the world. As a highly sensitive person, I take on other people’s emotions and at times I have no idea where they're coming from. Sometimes I definitely know they're MY OWN emotions and that my mind is bringing them to the surface for me to move through them and process and/or it has provoked them by telling a story that’s not true.
Feeling off, lonely or emotional mainly happens when I’m out of alignment, not doing the things that I love, not connecting with friends on a deeper level, not taking time to get out of my head, lacking in getting outside to connect with nature, eating food that I know make me batty, and the list goes on. It’s a gift to be sensitive, but sometimes, in all honesty, it can be a little roller coaster ride. There's also other life events and situations that can cause us to feel off, lonely, emotional or disconnected.
So, while I'm normally a pretty positive and upbeat person and love connecting with other people, sometimes I don’t or sometimes it can be harder to get me out of the house or out of my shell. I don't think I am alone in this, either.
I’ve learned at my lowest points when I want to curl in a ball and be far away from the world around me, that’s when I truly need to get out of the house and connect with a friend, release the pity party in my head, and/or sometimes it’s getting out into nature with Lita and/or the man. Honestly, it's helpful (necessary) for me to feel the emotions, be still, release them and getting out and connecting in whatever area I need to fuel up.
When I shared the above on Facebook, I was NOT doing it to have people feel sorry for me and it was not directed toward anyone. That’s the last thing I want. However, what I saw after sharing was a world full of love from friends that live both close and far away, others opening up to share that they also feel alone. Messages saying that they appreciated me for sharing as that’s what they needed to hear at that moment.
After sharing that, I started thinking about how we can all be so connected online and around the world, but yet feel so alone. I feel social media is a blessing, but it can also be a curse.
We don’t physically or emotionally feel connected because we are looking at screens all day long and while we feel connected, it’s not the connection that God/Universe desires for us. It’s not what nature provides for us. There's no warm loving touch, a real hug, the warmth of caring energy near you and surrounding you.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love being able to connect with friends from around the world online as I live far from my “birth home”. I've moved A LOT in my life and some of my closest friends I've met traveling around the world. However, a lot of what we post and share online isn’t what helps us feel connected.
We use the keyboard and a screen to connect and share our thoughts, updates, pictures and feelings and a lot can be lost in translation. Almost everything can be lost in translation, because we are physical beings and a lot of our world nowadays is online.
As technology has evolved, our lives as human beings have not evolved as fast, and quite honestly, I don’t think they should. We are meant to connect physically and emotionally with others, not through a screen.
So, ya know, I run an online business. I workout from home online. I coach women both online and over the phone. So, it might be a little odd that I am sharing this, right?
Well, honestly, there are reasons I love having an online business; however, in creating that awareness that everything I do is pretty solo and you know, I also do a lot solo (solo travel), it’s important for ME to recognize what I can do for myself to FEEL more connected and then DO IT. I’m amazing at creating lists and helping others do the same, but the beauty of life is in taking action.
In fact, I created a Fall Love List that I've been taking a lot of action on to do more of what I love (outside of the house and away from technology - yes, staying off of social media).
So, I’ll leave you with this little love note (the exact one I shared with my Naturalita Love Notes list (you can join here, if you feel inspired).
PLEASE know YOU are LOVED.
There will be days when we don't feel loved.
There will be days when we feel invisible to the world.
There will be low days, sad days, anger filled days...
days so low you don't know how you can continue.
Find the light.
See the light.
Feel the light.
There are also the days
where you have felt the LOVE,
you have felt VISIBLE,
you have been triumphant, happy, joy-filled and blessed.
Let those moments
bring in the light,
ignite the spark
and help you trust
that the light (your power) is always within you,
LOVE is always within you
and around you, too.
You are loved.
You are visible.
You are amazing.
The light in me
sees the light in you.
Some days we have to clear the clouds, clutter, and negativity from around our heart and in our mind, but if you trust there is always love and light around you - there will be - because, truthfully, it's always there.
And… I love to follow up with some questions for you take ACTION.
If you also have a tendency to have that lonely feeling from time to time, please take action by answering these questions (write them down on paper, don't answer them in your head):
1. What can you do to feel more connected?
2. What lights you up? Make a list.
3. Take Inspired Action: What are two or three things on that list that you will take INSPIRED ACTION on each week?
Please share in the comments below, lovely.
Get it out of your head!
I desire that WE ALL feel more and more connected in life each and every day, some days it will come with more ease and flow than others, but that just means we need to dig deeper within and take inspired action.
Shine - Nicole xoxo